purgastory 👻 Inbox

[isdf]

HELLO

"Greetings. This is Kisaragi Yuma."

GOODBYE

TEXT | VIDEO | VOICE | ACTION

Comments

post-cyoa

[paenitete]

[ sprints at you at 100 km per second

just kidding she is messaging him ]

Hi. Are you free?

[isdf]

[She's so fast, even Sonic would be impressed.]

Yes. I have finished cleaning up and changing. Where can I meet you?

[paenitete]

Lake of Glass? I'm not too far from where the path over there is. It's the tallest tree.

[ her longass hair has been braided over her shoulder and she's still in her hoodie, hiding her head. she's hard not to spot. ]

[isdf]

Understood.

[The sheer amount of red against the blue-green backdrop makes it no mystery where she's standing. He's at her side before long, having made his way over as soon as they exchanged messages.]

Thank you for waiting. Shall we begin?

[paenitete]

[ she gives him a half-smile. she's brought them both water bottles. ]

Yeah. Thanks for coming.

[ she lowers herself in the grass and offers a water bottle. ]

You can take a seat. How are your injuries?

[isdf]

Thank you very much.

[He takes the water bottle with both hands, then takes a seat on the grass beside her.]

My injuries are fine. They won't be affecting my performance in the future.

[paenitete]

[ not the performance... more memories of that dating show thing. ]

I'm not worried about that. I'm more worried about how you're doing right now.

[isdf]

. . . What do you mean?

[Isn't that correlated to his performance? If he's doing okay, he can do better.]

[paenitete]

... I think I heard Mafuyu tell you about those dialogue choices, right? The ones we had to pick to get you out of there.

I guessed wrong on one of them. You wanted to be told it's okay to be you, even if you're useless.

So don't worry about your performance. I'm not grading you on anything. I'm not even good at writing my own reports.

[isdf]

[The polite smile he typically wears all throughout an interaction wavers, starting with an evasive gaze.]

. . . I'm not useless.

[He can't be, so he'll worry. His performance has to be exemplary at all times, no matter who's around or not to judge it.]

[paenitete]

Yuma... Whether you have use or not shouldn't be a question at all. That doesn't matter.

[isdf]

Does it not?

[Does it really not? Because he doesn't believe her, unless she's saying that it applies to his existence, too.]

[paenitete]

It doesn't.

[ with conviction. ]

No one was in there trying to save you because you're useful. They just wanted to help.

[isdf]

Even if that's true, it does not make the subject of competence any less important. Had I not made such amateurish mistakes, Hak would have sustained fewer injuries.

[paenitete]

Those mazes are designed to hurt you! You can't expect to be perfect!

[isdf]

I can, and I must. I was a part of the reason we died in that maze when we could have lived.

[paenitete]

[ her stomach clenches hard. a heavy weight bears down on her chest. even hearing the word... ]

You all... died?

[isdf]

No. Thorns alone lived.

[And that's why he knows—he knows he could have done better.]

[paenitete]

[ she goes silent, but her fists tighten in her lap. it's not like she can refute him without having context for this, but is refuting what he needs? ]

Were you trying to hurt them?

[isdf]

[Confusion momentarily creases his brow before he shakes his head.]

We weren't together. It was just me and Hak that time.

[paenitete]

Intent matters. You weren't trying to hurt anyone when you made those mistakes. That's all they were. They're inevitable.

[isdf]

No. Mistakes are only acceptable in the beginning. After enough trial and error, any more would be unacceptable.

[paenitete]

Says who?

[isdf]

Is that not true from an organizational perspective? As soldiers, we're expected to perform at a certain level of excellence at a minimum.

[paenitete]

But being a soldier isn't all you are! It doesn't have to be! Even I'm not like that!