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[isdf]

HELLO

"Greetings. This is Kisaragi Yuma."

GOODBYE

TEXT | VIDEO | VOICE | ACTION

Comments

[paenitete]

... I think I heard Mafuyu tell you about those dialogue choices, right? The ones we had to pick to get you out of there.

I guessed wrong on one of them. You wanted to be told it's okay to be you, even if you're useless.

So don't worry about your performance. I'm not grading you on anything. I'm not even good at writing my own reports.

[isdf]

[The polite smile he typically wears all throughout an interaction wavers, starting with an evasive gaze.]

. . . I'm not useless.

[He can't be, so he'll worry. His performance has to be exemplary at all times, no matter who's around or not to judge it.]

[paenitete]

Yuma... Whether you have use or not shouldn't be a question at all. That doesn't matter.

[isdf]

Does it not?

[Does it really not? Because he doesn't believe her, unless she's saying that it applies to his existence, too.]

[paenitete]

It doesn't.

[ with conviction. ]

No one was in there trying to save you because you're useful. They just wanted to help.

[isdf]

Even if that's true, it does not make the subject of competence any less important. Had I not made such amateurish mistakes, Hak would have sustained fewer injuries.

[paenitete]

Those mazes are designed to hurt you! You can't expect to be perfect!

[isdf]

I can, and I must. I was a part of the reason we died in that maze when we could have lived.

[paenitete]

[ her stomach clenches hard. a heavy weight bears down on her chest. even hearing the word... ]

You all... died?

[isdf]

No. Thorns alone lived.

[And that's why he knows—he knows he could have done better.]

[paenitete]

[ she goes silent, but her fists tighten in her lap. it's not like she can refute him without having context for this, but is refuting what he needs? ]

Were you trying to hurt them?

[isdf]

[Confusion momentarily creases his brow before he shakes his head.]

We weren't together. It was just me and Hak that time.

[paenitete]

Intent matters. You weren't trying to hurt anyone when you made those mistakes. That's all they were. They're inevitable.

[isdf]

No. Mistakes are only acceptable in the beginning. After enough trial and error, any more would be unacceptable.

[paenitete]

Says who?

[isdf]

Is that not true from an organizational perspective? As soldiers, we're expected to perform at a certain level of excellence at a minimum.

[paenitete]

But being a soldier isn't all you are! It doesn't have to be! Even I'm not like that!

[isdf]

[That's because she's—]

It is my pride as an ISDF soldier. Is that so wrong?

[paenitete]

It is because it hurts you! We all heard it!

[isdf]

What . . . Exactly what did you hear to think so?

[paenitete]

[ she pauses to make sure she remembers correctly ]

The last question is the one I got wrong. I mentioned it earlier. I thought you'd want to hear "you've proven your worth," but you didn't. When I picked that option... you asked if that meant you're no longer defective. Then you wanted to know what the next directive is.

[isdf]

[He . . . didn't?]

. . . That is what we do. When we complete a mission, we are given another assignment.

[paenitete]

But that wasn't the right answer.

You just wanted to hear that it's okay to be you even when you're not useful.

[isdf]

[That's irrational.

He looks away sharply. His hand reflexively tightens around the water bottle before loosening. He shouldn't be thinking like that.]

[paenitete]

Hey...

[ she hesitates and then sets a hand on his arm. ]

You're not on any base. You won't get in any kind of trouble for thinking like that. It's just me here.