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[isdf]

HELLO

"Greetings. This is Kisaragi Yuma."

GOODBYE

TEXT | VIDEO | VOICE | ACTION

Comments

[isdf]

Does it not?

[Does it really not? Because he doesn't believe her, unless she's saying that it applies to his existence, too.]

[paenitete]

It doesn't.

[ with conviction. ]

No one was in there trying to save you because you're useful. They just wanted to help.

[isdf]

Even if that's true, it does not make the subject of competence any less important. Had I not made such amateurish mistakes, Hak would have sustained fewer injuries.

[paenitete]

Those mazes are designed to hurt you! You can't expect to be perfect!

[isdf]

I can, and I must. I was a part of the reason we died in that maze when we could have lived.

[paenitete]

[ her stomach clenches hard. a heavy weight bears down on her chest. even hearing the word... ]

You all... died?

[isdf]

No. Thorns alone lived.

[And that's why he knows—he knows he could have done better.]

[paenitete]

[ she goes silent, but her fists tighten in her lap. it's not like she can refute him without having context for this, but is refuting what he needs? ]

Were you trying to hurt them?

[isdf]

[Confusion momentarily creases his brow before he shakes his head.]

We weren't together. It was just me and Hak that time.

[paenitete]

Intent matters. You weren't trying to hurt anyone when you made those mistakes. That's all they were. They're inevitable.

[isdf]

No. Mistakes are only acceptable in the beginning. After enough trial and error, any more would be unacceptable.

[paenitete]

Says who?

[isdf]

Is that not true from an organizational perspective? As soldiers, we're expected to perform at a certain level of excellence at a minimum.

[paenitete]

But being a soldier isn't all you are! It doesn't have to be! Even I'm not like that!

[isdf]

[That's because she's—]

It is my pride as an ISDF soldier. Is that so wrong?

[paenitete]

It is because it hurts you! We all heard it!

[isdf]

What . . . Exactly what did you hear to think so?

[paenitete]

[ she pauses to make sure she remembers correctly ]

The last question is the one I got wrong. I mentioned it earlier. I thought you'd want to hear "you've proven your worth," but you didn't. When I picked that option... you asked if that meant you're no longer defective. Then you wanted to know what the next directive is.

[isdf]

[He . . . didn't?]

. . . That is what we do. When we complete a mission, we are given another assignment.

[paenitete]

But that wasn't the right answer.

You just wanted to hear that it's okay to be you even when you're not useful.

[isdf]

[That's irrational.

He looks away sharply. His hand reflexively tightens around the water bottle before loosening. He shouldn't be thinking like that.]

[paenitete]

Hey...

[ she hesitates and then sets a hand on his arm. ]

You're not on any base. You won't get in any kind of trouble for thinking like that. It's just me here.

[isdf]

[He glances at her hand, then at the space between her and his arm before he stares down at the grass.]

I'm . . . not useless.

[paenitete]

Yuma...

[ for real. she felt so bad after she flunked on that answer. she feels personally responsible to right this for them both.

she squeezes his arm. ]

You don't need to have a use. It's okay.

[isdf]

No . . . I . . .

[He was supposed to come here and deliver a report—nothing more, nothing less. He knows what he must do, and it's not this. It's . . . not okay.]